top of page
STOP the shoulds and tune into your heart!_edited.jpg

STOP the shoulds and tune into your heart!


When I say the words "Burning Desire" what comes to mind?

In a recent personal growth group, I was asked to revisit a time when I had a burning desire. It was so powerful to experience that memory.

What came to mind was the time I was reading Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich." All my mentors and gurus touted this book as a must read for the ultimate financial success! I could never seem to get past Chapter 2. It required you to define your burning desire before you read any further!

What's your burning desire?

It took me almost an entire year of disciplining myself to sit down each day to go within to get connected with my burning desire.

It was so hard to narrow down my focus to one purpose statement. Heck, I'm a Gemini/Cancer! I want everything and think I can do it all if I just learn the right time management hack.

I still haven't found that hack but what I did find out is there is one essential step before you determine your burning desire or life's purpose. Napoleon Hill refers to it as a "Definite Aim."

I believe that before putting pen to paper, you must clear the clutter of your mind. For me that meant taking precious time away from noise of life and tuning into my heart before I started to journal. That's not easy when there are so many demands on us as women to serve and care others; we just put these self-care moments on the back burner. I was ready to do the work so I stole away and made myself a priority. Yay me!

How often do your make time for yourself to breathe and think?

I decided that this was important not just for me, but for everyone in my life. Knowing my definite aim was critical to my happiness and theirs!

I started with a meditation that involved breathing into my heart and invited it to be open to receive wisdom, love and connection with my highest self.

I encouraged myself to be patient with the awkward silence and allowed myself to be present without having an agenda except to just listen. This could be very uncomfortable; especially if you're someone that always needs to be doing and thinking about the best way to get things done.

I told myself that this was just practice and that I couldn't get it wrong.

Did you hear that piece of gold that I just shared? This mantra keeps me sane whenever I'm learning something new: "It's a practice and I can't get it wrong because it's practice."

This mantra gave me the compassion and freedom to play and create without judgment.

Oh just a side note about judgment. In order to get this email out to you on the regular, I have decided that it's okay if I have typos or even some errors in flow in order to be able to hit the send button. My aim: Get the message out quickly and without judgment. I trust that those who are meant to receive it, will receive it beautifully.

Do you procrastinate 'til the veggies harvest? (Changed that saying for my vegan friends ;) Just practice luv.

Practicing without judgment creates a sense of peace and trust that it all is coming my way without force. I needed to trust that I was in a progress with this process and that just as it took months to birth my beautiful daughters, this definite aim was also a labor of love that was well worth the time, tears and deliberation. I was birthing my core desires and vetting them to see how far they penetrated my soul. No right or wrong just noticing what feels juicy and writing it down.

At times, my mind gets flooded with so many things that I "should" do and it gets overwhelming. Do you know what I mean?

When your brain tells you that you should do a bunch of things that you're totally not motivated to do but it sounds good on paper.

Like my dilemma to not become a therapist. It lasted for over a decade! I was accepted into an MSW program and got right up to the day before classes started and I withdrew. Why? Because my decision was a should. I wanted the credentials more than helping people with a healing model. I knew that I wanted to become a Life Coach but that route was much more difficult. It took a lot to listen to my heart. Especially when no one in my circle even knew what life coaching was.

What is your heart saying to you lately? Are you listening?

You're so worth the time to dig deep and vet your true desires. I'm not going to lie that it can be unsettling. Especially when you've been on a trajectory for a while and worried about what other people are going to think.

I have been there and am there now with some components in my business. What's the right choice? I'm going to practice connecting to my heart first and notice the shoulds. Trust me that when you connect to your heart, your burning desire will emerge and you'll know it. So what are you waiting for?

Mark your calendar today with a time to tune in without distractions.

If you want a mind-mapping guide to use while you connect to your core desires, just hit reply or email me at and I'll send it to you

bottom of page